Tuesday, 9 February 2010
I haven't blogged for a while. I haven't done the usual things I do for a while. I have stopped doing some things that I have been doing for a while. I feel as if I have been reviewing all that I am and all that I do in order to find the authentic ME!
What remains is my passion to write, but write what I know and what I love. I have lost myself in the manic checking of my blog, to see if it is getting any hits, or comments or noticed at all in this vast cyber world. I have joined sites, looked at others blogs, felt a little inadequate and quite unsure of myself and my contributions.
But what remains is that I love to write, and it doesn't matter (I keep telling myself) who reads it, who comments or if it is of any interest to anyone. I write because it is a need that burns in my soul. It is the way I am wired, the way I make sense of the world.
Why don't I just keep it private in my journal? Why don't I feel enough satisfaction?
Because I am not happy until I have shared my stuff.
Am I looking for approval, for recognition, for a pat on the back?
Does it matter?
I just feel I need to share.
In my reviewing, I have finally, accepted my role here on earth. I have been dodging it for so long, by doing other things, training in other modalities, getting confused at what I should be doing.
I have always done this 'thing' that I have not felt good enough to integrate into my being. In fact it is in my being already, I have been ignoring it and shrugging it off as something that everyone does or can do.
I am a mentor.
There I said it!!
I mentor children at school, I mentor through my writing, I mentor my friends and family, I see potential in all and everything and have a need to empower others to the extent where I sometimes need to learn to butt out and help only if asked!
So here I am Christina Christou, writer, mentor, with a bag full of tools and skills and a lifetime (or more) of experiences waiting to be shared with whoever is asking!