Monday, 28 December 2009


I 've been quite 'ill' for over a week now. I was hoping to write a post for the Winter Solstice which was on the 21st December, as I knew it has important meaning for how things are progressing in the world, but I was physically made unable (through being snuffly in bed). It made me realize that what I really needed to do was NOTHING!

We equate progress with doing something. If we are not running around like head less chickens we feel that we are not moving forward. For instance with Christmas, everybody was running and running trying to buy presents, food for the celebration, every one on overdrive, wound up to the full, ready to spin off into oblivion.

I felt all the tension and resentment in the shops from everyone. It was uncomfortable and unnerving. It made me wonder why we even bother with Christmas any more. Why do we put ourselves through this gruelling process if we don't even stop to think what Christmas even means anymore?

For the few who still believe that it is the birth date of Christ and a Christian celebration, I am sure there is some solace in the dark nights of shopping and preparations. But for the multitude who do not believe in Christ or have forgotten why we have Christmas in the first place, what is this running around for?

Is it so that we can spend time with family? Family we don't see often and don't necessarily get on with? Is it so that we can have another excuse to get drunk, eat to excess and moan the next day (or year) how horrible our relatives are and how much money we have spent and how sore our head is?

I had a reasonably nice time this year, I don't know why, since we still did the same thing - shop, travel to family, give presents etc, but I felt an inner peace even if around me there seemed the same chaos.

I, on some 'soul' level have made peace with all the other Christmas' in the past and come to some acceptance, that this is a day where we need to be fully present. May be that's what giving presents mean, and also receiving them. It is about being in the moment, the here and now. Savouring the happy moment(s) and for that moment in time being transported to the real meaning of Christmas - Love, peace and gratitude!

Wednesday, 16 December 2009


'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.' Declares the LORD.

Isaiah 55:8

My eldest son has found reading the Bible a comfort and a life line. He is only 18 years old and is wise beyond his years. He sends me texts every now and then with messages from the Bible, like the one above.

When I first read it I could not understand what it meant. I was having a bad week and I wasn't really in the mood for cryptic puzzles.

That evening, It dawned on me what the verse meant, at least what it meant to me.

We expect a certain outcome or we have certain expectations in life, especially to do with being good or bad.

For example, we expect that if we are a good person, kind, loving, hard working that bad things shouldn't happen to us.

Who ever told us this??

We expect that we should have no problems in life and that if we do then it is God's punishment for something we did, or it is bad luck or a curse or karma.

Who says it is any of the above or anything else anyone has ever said?

'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.'

This verse helped me snap out of the little tight box that I had put myself in regarding what was happening to me in my 'bad' week. It dawned on me that whatever we measure happiness or sadness by is not how God measures it.

We are not meant to understand how God works, only trust and have faith. If you would rather replace God with Source or the Divine, then to me it is all the same (Not that my son would agree.)

In summary, by releasing the need to know the 'Why, is this happening to me?' and trusting that there is a higher meaning to this and seeing your 'problem' with God's mind your life will not necessarily be problem less, but you will never feel alone again.

Monday, 14 December 2009


When is enough enough!?

'I can't take this job anymore'

'I can't take this relationship anymore'

'I can't take this ---------- (fill in the blank) anymore'

When is enough, enough!?

Why do we stay in situations that are not working? What is the emotion that underpins our actions or in-actions?


Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of what may happen by rocking the boat!

But this fear does not go away by staying put. The fear just manifests into something else. It will manifest into an illness, an accident, depression, a feeling of dread that does not go away. It could further lead into behaviour, such as drink or drugs, that try to block out the dread.

No one is suggesting that leaving an unhappy situation is easy. Life is not easy, nor is it meant to be. But life is for living, not remaining transfixed in in-action.

So, how do you change an unhappy situation?

One step at a time!

For example, if you are in an unhappy relationship and you know that no matter what you do there is no saving it, then work on yourself.

What does that mean? Why don't you just leave?

If it was that easy you would have left. Fear sometimes takes such a hold that even if there is no or little abuse, your self-esteem and self-worth becomes so low that even if you left you'll be right back, or end up in a similar or worse relationship.

So, working on self means, look after yourself. Stay safe, keep your kids safe if you have any, and do things that boost your self-esteem. This can be applied to all things you feel stuck in.

Of course, this does not have to be done alone. Enlist help from friends, family, organisations that can give advice.

The first step has to be taken by you. The more confident you become the less fear you feel and the clearer your vision becomes. Clear vision helps you see the direction you need to take.

Saturday, 12 December 2009


I have been reading various writers opinions on what they think is happening in the world from a bigger perspective. I can relate to some of them some of the time and other times I feel totally blown away by their explanations.

Today, I will try to share what I believe from what I have taken from others and my own feelings. To start with today is the 12/12/2009, numerically it looks important, as are the other twin dates, for example 1/1, 2/2 etc.

But taking it from a spiritual perspective, 12/12 is the last portal, or gateway before a big change. The portal is offering an opportunity to complete anything in our lives which is not working and not serving us for our highest good.

The energies are intense at the moment, helping bring out everything to the surface to be looked at in order for decisions to be made on what to do next. There will be a lot of fear circulating and a lot of uncomfortable situations, coupled with unexplainable periods of happiness and a feeling as if there is something good to look forward to.

With myself I have reached a point in my life where I feel ready for the next stage. Even though I feel I have looked at all there is inside, every day something happens to show me that there is still something I still need to 'work' on. The difference is that I can actually see what is happening now and I don't feel like I am in a thick wood trying to find my way.

I made a decision today regarding my career, where before I was just waiting and going through the motions hoping that things would sought themselves out. But if you ignore things they don't go away, they just become a bigger issue to deal with.

So for me 12:12 even though it feels like an ordinary day full of the usual day to day routines, the same interactions with the same people, I can see that some decisions have been made, even if I cannot see the outcome yet.

I feel positive that what needs to be done now is to stay centred and true to who I am, and not be swayed by the upheaval of the conflicting energies. I have found that when my guard is down I am swept away by others feelings instead of enjoying the ride.

So, my contribution for 12:12 is sharing my understanding of what this day means to me, may your understanding of 12:12 be for your best interest and may you ride the wave to your dreams!!

Thursday, 10 December 2009

All is one

I have been reading Caroline Myss's work for some time now and receive her newsletters. Myss uses the energy system of the chakras to explain how we use or lose energy and how we are connected to everything around us as well as within us.

In the most recent newsletter she introduces the work of a writer called Ellen Gunter who writes about environmental issues and how we are all affected by it and how we can all do our part in helping out.

At the moment the Copenhagen talks are about the planet and global warming, and I feel a little guilty and irresponsible at how easily I dismiss the talks as, 'not my problem' and switch channels on the T.V. to watch some meaningless diversion.

Whose problem is it? Is it the politicians problem? The businesses that pollute the world? The doctors who have to deal with the effects on people from the pollution? Or is it each and every one's problem?

I went for healing a few years ago and I was suffering from very low self esteem and felt used and abused. The healer said to me, 'Remember without a YOU there is not an US, referring to my relationship between myself and my family. This applies to the earth, without the earth we, humankind cannot exist.

Therefore like my healer told me I needed to look after myself, in order to be o.k. for my children and partner, WE need to look after the planet in order for it to look after us.

Ghandi says this perfectly, ' Be the change you want to see'.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

I wanted to start a blog where I could share all the new things and some old things I am learning about how to be. I am finally coming to a point in my life where I am content with who I am. I may not know exactly where I am going but I certainly know I no longer need to go backwards.

Vision- clear mind, clear sight, has been a journey of mine for a very long time. I have had many unsavoury life experiences involving unhappy relationships, divorce, separation from loved ones where I have lost my beloved Mother and also have had to leave friends and family far, far away.

This blog therefore is a place where I can share my insights and maybe give some hope where there seems to be no hope and light where there seems to be only darkness.

I hope you enjoy!