Monday, 14 December 2009


When is enough enough!?

'I can't take this job anymore'

'I can't take this relationship anymore'

'I can't take this ---------- (fill in the blank) anymore'

When is enough, enough!?

Why do we stay in situations that are not working? What is the emotion that underpins our actions or in-actions?


Fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of what may happen by rocking the boat!

But this fear does not go away by staying put. The fear just manifests into something else. It will manifest into an illness, an accident, depression, a feeling of dread that does not go away. It could further lead into behaviour, such as drink or drugs, that try to block out the dread.

No one is suggesting that leaving an unhappy situation is easy. Life is not easy, nor is it meant to be. But life is for living, not remaining transfixed in in-action.

So, how do you change an unhappy situation?

One step at a time!

For example, if you are in an unhappy relationship and you know that no matter what you do there is no saving it, then work on yourself.

What does that mean? Why don't you just leave?

If it was that easy you would have left. Fear sometimes takes such a hold that even if there is no or little abuse, your self-esteem and self-worth becomes so low that even if you left you'll be right back, or end up in a similar or worse relationship.

So, working on self means, look after yourself. Stay safe, keep your kids safe if you have any, and do things that boost your self-esteem. This can be applied to all things you feel stuck in.

Of course, this does not have to be done alone. Enlist help from friends, family, organisations that can give advice.

The first step has to be taken by you. The more confident you become the less fear you feel and the clearer your vision becomes. Clear vision helps you see the direction you need to take.

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