Saturday, 3 April 2010
As a child I followed the faith I was born into, Greek Orthodox Christian. I was born in the UK and my friends where English. I went to a Church of England school, in York, opposite from the beautiful York Minster Cathedral.
As a child you take things in your stride. I could separate, singing hymns in the Minster at school, with worshiping in the Greek Orthodox Church on a Sunday or at Christmas and Easter.
I didn't question who was right, who was wrong. It was just what we did. At school, we learnt about Judaism, and the Bible. I sat for my Religious studies O'Level where the curriculum involved learning about the Gospels and learning all the names of the books of the bible of by heart. I didn't question this either.
At 15 we moved to Cyprus. Church was not in our timetable anymore. It was as if now we were in our Native country, we were less Cypriot. We still went to church at Easter, but there was a shift.
Maybe it was my age, maybe it was a combination of life events, but I started to question.
Who was I? Who was God? What did I believe in?
This coincided with puberty, with A'levels and with unhappy family situations. I turned inwards, searching for answers through writing poetry.
Over 20 years fast forward, and I find myself asking the same questions.
Who am I? Who is God? What do I believe in?
It's Easter tomorrow, I am back in England, I don't follow anything anymore, not because I am an atheist, but because I am not sure what I should be following. I believe in God, I believe in Jesus I believe in Christ as a consciousness. Or are these really my beliefs or things I have learnt?
When I close my eyes and reach that quiet space, I know there is a God, I know who I am, I know what I believe in.
It's just a matter of choosing to align with this quiet space and not getting lost in the noise!