Life has a way of making you to take notice...little signs and coincidences happening around you to stop and 'smell the roses'.
We might be alerted for the need to change, by the people in our lives through arguments, differences that won't go away or just niggles that make you feel unhappy.
If this isn't enough for you to stop and take stock, preferring to blame others for your unease, the body will then collaborate with the universe to show you that something is amiss.
At first it may not be obvious; a recurring cold which is followed by insistent bladder infections then a throat infection etc. You may subconsciously know something isn't right commenting to your friends that you must be run down...
What do you do about it??
Do you drag yourself to the doctors, fill yourself with antibiotics and plaster yourself up, ready for the next round??
Do you then panic that you cannot take too much time off work; stay in bed; or feel that the household will collapse around you??
Have you thought what will happen if YOU collapse? What will work, your family, friends do then??
You may think, there is nothing you can do to stop what is inevitable, from happening. Maybe not. But what if you could do something to delay it from happening?
This is what happened to me...
I thought I had it all sorted out - life- I knew there were things that were not perfect but I was putting in the hours; working on myself, I even wrote a book about how to work on yourself called 'Write Therapy-using the power of writing to heal the past and create the life you want'.
Somewhere along the line I had stopped taking notice of the messages the universe; people (who are our biggest teachers as they reflect back to us what is going on inside) and eventually my body.
I was run down...
What did I do about it??
Nothing at first, I carried on, doing more instead of less. I worked as a supply teaching assistant; I did the odd crystal therapy; I did the household chores; carried on being depressed, tired, fed up and in between all that, I wrote my book ( in record time of 2 months).
In retrospect, this was also a message to me, from my higher self, from that place some call soul. My soul was telling me I needed to take note of the guidance I was writing in this little handbook. But I had no time - I had a deadline to meet. I had food to cook. I had bills to pay. I had wrongs to make right...
Eventually, I dragged myself to the doctors, filled myself with antibiotics (which I consequently had allergic reactions to) and plastered myself up, ready for the next round...
I felt a niggling unease, which I alleviated with my crystals, and some angel card readings. But even they could not cancel the damage that had been done.
I had ignored the messages for too long - depression from unresolved grief from losing my mum ten years prior; old guilt for decisions I had made in the past which involved my children's lives; relationship disagreements and the recurring questions of:
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What am I supposed to be doing?
There is a line of thought that says, everything we experience has been already asked for. Maybe not in the 'I want' way but in the 'I don't want' way. In other words, if you spend too much time thinking of what you don't want, guess what? It happens. This is what is meant by the like is attracted to like - the law of attraction.
My book underpins the concepts of the law of attraction. It seems quite ironic that I was writing about it yet did not have the time to practice it. I was focusing on my book to be published - and published it was. I was focusing on giving more workshops - and workshops I gave. So this really did work. What I wasn't focusing positively was on me...
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On 4th August 2014, all the above was turned on its head. I remember sitting in the consultants' office. For some reason the nurse had asked me to sit on the therapy couch. My legs were daggling, like a little child's, my partner was sitting to my right near the window.
We waitied for what seemed an eternity...
Finally the consultant walked in with the nurse, I looked up and smiled, it was not reciprocated, their faces were strained. I still did not think the worst (still ignoring the messages??).
'We are sorry to tell you Miss Christou but we have found cancer in the lump we removed from your breast.'..
I could hear crying coming from my right hand side, it irritated me...It was intruding with my thought processes...I couldn't comprehend what had been said.
I then laughed, hysterically, more from recognition of what was obvious- I teach how ignoring the messages and how carrying on without changing, can bring about illness- and also from my outdated pessimistic outlook of, 'It was bound to happen to me, if it happened to my mum'...
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Eight months on after surgery and treatment I have been given the all clear...
I am relieved and thankful for my health and for the people around me who have contributed to my healing. What I am grateful for more than anything is that I have been given a second chance to practise what I preach; to finally walk my talk; to reclaim my power and live consciously.
I have gone back to the drawing board, examining all my beliefs, thoughts and outdated patterns.
In my book, I share that in order to create the life you really want you need firstly release the past. To release the past we need to become aware of what the past is and see how it is stopping us from moving on.
You do not have to trudge through all the 'he said, she said' stories of your life, but you do have to look at your part in the stories, non-judgmentally and objectively. You need to become the observer of your life, as if you are watching a heart - felt movie.
What is more, you need to feel the feeling that is brought up not just push it aside, displace it, project it or bury it. Be with it, notice how it looks, smells, feels, speaks.
It has taken me a while to share my story, but as always the universe has a way of making us know when the right time is to do what we need... Mine is now.
***I will be sharing what I have learnt on my journey of healing with a series of blogposts and workshops. Please feel free to get in touch through the comments and my email.***
